A Stepmother's Journey-Dealing with Greed

As a stepmother you will deal with greed many times and in many different ways. In our situation we have a birthmother who cares more about money than she does her own children. She is very spoiled, entitled and used to getting her own way. She doesn't care who she hurts in the process (be it her kids or any child, her family ect.) Her friends have finally begun to notice who she truly is and really at this point she only has one. Her mom and dad just got remarried so they pay for pretty much everything. She lives a high maintenance lifestyle and will do anything to keep it that way.

After our last court hearing the judge forgot to include my husband and my daughter as a hardship deduction. Instead of helping us correct the mistake, Holly said she would only if we agreed to put Aaron, the middle son on ADHD meds. He doesn't need them, she just likes him being a zombie so she doesn't have to deal with his extra energy. Who in their right mind basically blackmails you with a child? It is sick, nauseating and just plain dumbfounding.

This photo is just one example of the kind of thing that goes on at the ex's house. Every time she calls while the kids are with us she tells the boys about all the stuff she is going to buy them and and the "fun" stuff they are going to do when the boys return. She knows they love staying with us, and it pisses her off so much.

So the ex's husband works under the table, plus he has a car, a truck and a travel trailer. O and did I mention he bought a city bus to turn into a motor home while he apparently has "no job or money."

And then Holly got a vehicle in the divorce plus her dad gave her a car straight up no strings attached. So all together they have 4 cars, a city bus and a travel trailer. Yet they are on food stamps and state medical, plus school funds for Holly, and live rent free in her mom's house. Two babby daddies support her with child support and who knows what other under the table money she is getting. It really isn't about the money though, even though it pisses me off, it's about how they are lying and taking place in fraud to get this money, and how the result takes the food, clothes and opportunities away from my girls who didn't do anything wrong and don't deserve one bit of the way they are being treated by that family (Holly and her mom...and Diane the fake aunt).

Don't get me wrong I'm glad my stepsons are financially taken care of so well, but then I have every right to be upset that things aren't fair for my two little ones. Holly has talked trash about my own kids. Are you fucking kidding me? They are just innocent little girls and deserve just as much as everyone else. Right now my youngest is running around in shoes with the front duct taped because they have holes in them. We can't afford another pair because we just bought plane tickets to see my stepsons. She sends the boys with trashy clothes, holes, stains ect. I know they have nice clothes but why they come with crap clothes I don't know. Maybe she thinks we will buy them new stuff. One year we tried to buy them school clothes, shoes and some school supplies. She took the clothes back because she didn't think they were appropriate (one had a skull design on it). She took the shoes back but didn't give a reason. She took the backpacks back because they were from Wal-Mart and I guess Wal-Mart is too cheap for her taste. So we no longer buy them things or big presents because they will just be taken back so she can get the cash. And she has the nerve to call us deadbeats.

This past summer was the longest time the boys got to spend with us. Mom is such a control freak though she demanded a welfare check in the middle of their visit. So this woman on food stamps and all this welfare and other people's money took the kids to universal studios, stayed in a hotel and basically had a nice vacation with the 2 younger boys. The older one didn't even want to go, he wanted to stay and spend time with me and his dad and his oldest brother. I'm so glad the boys had a great time....but hey I'd like to take my girls to Disneyworld for the first time in their lives instead of paying for your manicure and many hair cut/dye jobs.

Glad my stepsons are having a nice time but who paid for this trip I wonder?

I know you can't buy alcohol with food stamps...so where is the beer money coming from since neither of them work?

Prentice Powell Performs 'Good Father'

This man so eloquently speaks of the pain and suffering we who are separated from our children experience. This is our lives everyday. Painful is it not?

Updatey Datey

If you haven't already noticed I haven't been very active on the blog recently. There has been a problem with the site that hosts my blog and the technical difficulties they are having won't let me upload pictures. And I mean how boring is a blog with no pics? Um yeah super boring. I at least included the links to the pictures in case you are dying to know what it looks like.


Well here is a mini update and then, since it's Thursday, I'll do my Things I'm loving (and hating) Thursday.
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~My oldest daughter got an award at her school the other day. Out of 29 kids in her kindergarten class she was 1 of 2 that got an award. I'm one proud momma! Her award was a Good Character award specifically for always being kind and respectful to others. That's my sweet, sweet Serenity <3 she always lives up to her name of being "serene". She is going to grow up to be a Zen master haha!*****************************************************************************

~My wonderful father shipped out this past week for an 8 month long deployment. a bit of a downer for me. Say a prayer for him if you don't mind :)
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~This week I started a page called Bring the Browning Boys Home. In less than a week we have gotten 166 followers. It's a page for our friends and family and people dealing with circumstances like ours to come and talk and exchange advice. We will be following our court case, exposing the lies and asking for support. (By the way go like that page now....yes you...right now!) I'll also have a wall of shame showing crooked lawyers, biased mediators, bad judges and even people contributing to the alienation or abuse of my stepsons. If we don't stand for those who can't fight for themselves...who will?
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Ok now for my Things I'm Loving Thursday

I'm loving Starbucks cold coffee, the one you can buy in the grocery story near the cold juice isle. The Caramel Macchiato Discoveries is my favourite but I'm not a big fan of the Mocha. I actually haven't tried the Vanilla yet so I don't know about that one. <3<3<3

I'm also loving those Birthday Cake Oreos. I'm not sure when they came out but I've never gotten them before last week. OMG they are delish! It's like cake in the middle of a cookie. What have I been missing all these years?  I am probably just too obsessed with oreos! <3<3<3

Ok one last food...well drink actually that I'm loving is Nighty Night Tea. It's an organic sleep enhancer. It really warms me up and calms me down so I feel sleepy but not too drowsy. Cozy would be the word I would describe. Did I mention it's organic and good for you too?<3<3<3

Something else I'm loving is Target. I rarely shop at Target because Wal-Mart is cheaper and even though I hate Wal-Mart it' all I can afford. But the thing about Target is that is gives back so much to schools make up of mostly military children. Once a month we get several pounds of food including produce, bread, pasta, cereal, canned stuff. About 2 months ago they helped my daughter's elementary build a new library. At the library opening each child received a new backpack and 3 or 4 brand new books. What a great company!!

Of course there is something I have to rant about. I'm Irish and you know us, we just won't back down. I know I may have spoken on this matter before but it apparently needs addressing again. And yes I know I'm putting personal problems out there but 1. Y'all are my friends, advisors, supporters and family. 2. Not that I approve of Miley Cyrus but hey "It's my blog I can say what I want to." haha! You don't like it, let me know something I could do better or just move on. Nobody is tying you up and forcing you to read this lol!
So my husband has this sister. She is supposedly bffs with my husband's ex and is so gullible she believes everything her bff (husband's ex) tells her. She has turned her back on her brother and me, talked trash about us, lied about us to the ex and even blocked us on Facebook. When I wrote about her before and the mean things she was doing to us she contacted me and said "O let's work this out." So I did, and I bent over backwards to try to fix the relationship. There was no response from her. Pretty clear she didn't really care about the relationship, she just didn't want her name where everyone might find out the truth about her. But hey I should have known. When she came to visit a couple years ago she talked mad trash about my husbands ex-how she slapped the youngest boy because he was bothering her while she was on a computer game, how her house was a dump and how she would get naked on webcam with her kids in the room. (Who even knows if this stuff is true, it's just what Jackie the sister said. Ironically now they are bffs again. Could it have something to do with the ex's mom getting a million$+ settlement? Maybe, maybe not but I know one thing once a backstabber, always a backstabber. My poor husband has to deal with a sister who is disloyal and not only that, makes up lies to tell the ex. Of course those lies get brought up in court. What kind of sister would try to destroy her brother!!?? It's nauseating. And last but not least both the ex and the hub's sister  claim to be awesome Christians. Posting things like they are completely innocent and God is on their side. Sorry but God doesn't like liars, cheaters and backstabbers. She will be on my Wall of Shame once I get done with my daily schoolwork. But here is a link to Jackie's Facebook just if you are nosy or  want to get something off your chest.

Whew! Glad to release that... I'll be working hard to get my pics fixed so hang in there with me. Much looove~Lizzie


P.S For you drama lovers, the next people on my wall of shame will be Diane (who threatened to kill our friends dog for testifying for us) Jeanette (too much crap to list) and of course the ex (who is wreaking havoc in these precious children's lives daily)




A Stepmother's Journey-Dealing with Lies

Ok so this might look like a mini rant, but unfortunately it is something a lot of stepmother's and fathers themselves have to deal with on a regular basis. And my story isn't even half as bad as some that I hear. It's unfortunate that stuff like this happens, I wish people would realize that their efforts to make their ex and significant other miserable only ends up hurting the children in the situation who don't know how to overlook angry nonsense. They take everything a parent says to heart because they are naturally innocent and trusting and don't believe anyone close to them would lie to them. When kids do come to the realization that not everything is as perfect as they thought, it is a heart breaking and shocking time for them.

This is a section taken from the bill our lawyer sent to us. It says "Telephone call with opposing counsel staff regarding Petitioner claiming to have order that Respondent (us) has to agree with the physicians treatment plan." And the cost? $25. So the ex told a lie that she had court documents that didn't exist and it cost $25 to set her lie straight.

First, if you claim to be a Christian you should act like one. Proverbs 12:22 says "The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful." Lying is not a very "Christian" thing to do. You apparently don't believe in what it takes to be a Christian so why put up a front? Faking to be a Christian just to make people think you are a good person and seem like a good mom gets old after a while. The mask is starting to crack and its only a matter of time before the real you starts seeping out.

Obviously this isn't the first lie that has ever been told in our case, but from now on I am not going to keep quiet about the injustice that is going on. I'm not crazy enough to think I can change the oppositions mind but I can speak out for the truth and demand justice. Exposing stuff like this is just another way to fight for the rights of my stepsons. I will never stop fighting and you will never shut me up.

And finally, the fact that we had to pay $25 just to expose her lie is bull crap. I think we should be reimbursed that money, don't you? I mean that's like a weeks worth of food for my girls, Christmas presents, could have gone into any of the kid's college fund...anything like that would have been so much better than ending up in the hands of a lawyer.

So tell me your story...when has someone else's lie cost you?

The Stepmother's Journey

There is a page on Facebook I absolutely love. If you are a stepmom you should go and like it. It's called The Step Mother's Journey. It's a place to vent, laugh, ask questions or advice and just talk to people who understand what you are going through. Here are some of my top favourite quotes and pictures.

"Does your DH/SO Ex stalk your Facebook religiously? Then you must be writing some very exciting stuff! And if she has an entire 'team' of people watching and screenshotting your Facebook then you must be intensely thrilling!!! Good work Momma!"

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A Poem For Mommies....
Dear Lord, it's such a hectic day
With little time to stop and pray
For life's been anything but calm
Since You called on me to be a mom
Running errands, matching socks
Building dreams with building blocks
Cooking, cleaning, and finding shoes
And other stuff that children lose
Fitting lids on bottled bugs ...
Wiping tears and giving hugs
A stack of last weeks mail to read
So where's the quiet time I need?
Yet when I steal a minute, Lord
Just at the sink or ironing board
To ask the blessings of Your grace
I see then, in my small one's face
That you have blessed me
All the while
And I stop to kiss
That precious smile

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Despite the stereotypes and biased opinions...I will continue to love them. Despite the rejection and hate...I will continue to love them. Despite all the stress and chaos...I will continue to love them. Despite the dysfunction and lies...I will continue to love them. Despite the pain and sacrifices...I will continue to love them. Why? Because at the end of each day...at the end of this journey...love still prevails. They will always know and feel that through it all I never stopped loving them

 

 

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Love drives her insanity alright but it's not love for her children...it's love for her Ex. She refuses to let go and accept that he loves another. She can't accept the fact that someone is better than her and more deserving of his love and devotion. She wants him alone and miserable so she uses the children to make any woman he is with as miserable as she feels to drive her away. Leave and you no...t only give her what she wants but you reinforce that her tactics work. The next woman will endure the same. The father and children pay the price of lost love and bonds. Does she care that the new woman may be the best thing that ever happened to him and the kids? Nope...she wants to be his 'one and only'. She believes this behavior will have him vulnerable and maintained on the back burner for when she is ready to use and abuse him some more. He is HER property from the moment she conceived...this child became her 18 years to life insurance that binds them and entraps him like a fly in a spiders web. She may be with other men but her thoughts and sights are always set on him. She will do ANYTHING to hear his voice. She will call to tell him the stupidest things or ask the most obvious questions to get her fix. The children will be her excuse to do this and everything will be of maximum importance to speak with him at once. The new woman will be rejected to answer such questions or accept the information which she feels is urgent because this denies her from hearing His voice. Does his Ex hate and reject you to the most extremes? It's not because you are a threat to her motherhood...it's because You have what she deems as Her rightful property until death do they part. Why else would she behave with such craziness? He must be a real "keeper" if she will go through such lengths to drive you away. After 5 years of appreciating my treasure I have learned he IS worth every ounce of fighting for. To that I say "Thank You crazy psycho nut job for the gift that is now MY husband. If it hadn't been for your mistakes I wouldn't be this incredibly happy with a one in a million kind of man. This rare precious gem is everything I've waited for my entire life". "You may have had him first but I will love and enjoy him forever". P.S. "Your tactics aren't helping you in any way. In fact, they are making him hate and despise you even more. You also are making him realize that he made a mistake being with you as well as what a 'real' woman is...how she acts...how she talks...how she treats her man...how a mother is with her children...etc." "I make you look awful just by being Me!" I WIN! LOL!

 

 

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"If you walked in the path of truth, you will have no reason to run, hide or lie to get people to believe you. Webs of deception unravel themselves."

 

 

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Our Blended Family

 

 

Today is National Stepfamily Day. It's a day for blended families to celebrate each other. What is a blended family? It's a family consisting of a couple and their children from this and all previous relationships. Our family is very special. As I'm sure you've noticed, the title of my blog is Yours, Mine and Ours. (By the way that's a good, old family movie, you should watch it sometime). I named it this because we have my husband's 4 boys from his previous marriage, my daughter from my previous marriage and we have a daughter together. See?...Yours, Mine and Ours!

 

Having a blended family is not always easy. Especially for a stepmom. There is already that bad stereotype, like you know, in Cinderella? And then you have to deal with difficult people who are jealous you are with their ex, or jealous you get to spend time with "their" kids or even just mad that you are happy. The worst is when you are stuck with a birth mom who won't acknowledge you exist which makes it impossible to parent the kids in the best way possible. It really hurts the kids when a mom does that. Or in a situation, where your step kids are told lies about you, and constantly have to listen to trash talk about you.

 

 

 

Thankfully, my boys know ME, know how I act, know how I treat them and most importantly know the TRUTH. No trash talking, or lies, or threats will ever be able to break the special bond I've developed with our boys. Sadly, the goodbyes get harder and harder every time, as we learn more about each other and our love grows.

 

 

 

I do want to take a minute to thank my husband's ex-wife. Wait...what? Thank her? Yep, that's right, thank her for several reasons.

 

Thank you for divorcing your husband so I could have a Prince in cammies.

Thank you for letting this hardworking, faithful man slip away and fall into my arms.

Because of this, we have the most beautiful, smart little girl together.

Thanks for giving birth to 3 amazing little boys.

I didn't have to go through the pain of labor but get to take part in the joys of their lives.

Thanks for letting me have the pleasure of teaching Aaron how to cook.

Thanks for letting me have the pleasure of teaching Josiah how to clean up.

Thanks for letting me have the pleasure of teaching Conner life lessons.

Most of all thank you for showing me exactly the kind of person I never want to be.